Men's Health

Intimate Talk

The Relationship Quiz

By Kate & Peter

PETER and KATE : Those still on the hunt for Mr. or Miss Right can attest to the fact that it is nigh on impossible to find the right partner - at least without kissing a few frogs along the way! If you've got a prettyclose-to-perfect candidate on the horizon or if you want to know if your marriage is a good one, the relationship quiz we've devised will help to shed some light on the matter. It will show you how good you are as a couple and if you really know and appreciate each other (Peter: Guys, Kate did not force me into this!).

1. When my partner is having problems at work and comes home stressed and unhappy, I usually know the reasons for his/her unhappiness.
#Yes. We believe that a problem halved is a problem solved so we talk to each other about everything as much as we can.
#No. As if I don't have enough problems of my own!

2. We all have dreams about what we would like to achieve in life - whether it's RM1 million in the bank or retirement at the age of 35. Do you know what your partner's life's aspirations are?
#Yes. I encourage him/her to strive for his/her dreams.
#No. I wouldn't want to encourage him/her to aim for the unattainable.

3. Do you miss your partner when he/she is away on a business trip?
#Yes. I miss him/her especially when he/she is away for a while and I think about him/her often.
#No. I finally have a little space to breathe. He/She stifles me sometimes.

4. Do you think that kissing and hugging as well as other forms of affection are important to a relationship even if it doesn't lead to sex?
#Yes. I love giving him/her a hug or a peck of affection for no particular reason.
#No. Hey, all roads lead to Rome. Why kiss and hug if you're not going to get horizontal?

5. When you're talking about serious matters, does your partner take your views and opinions into consideration?
#Yes. We discuss each other's problems all the time. Our lines of communication are always open, thank god.
#No. My problems are my own and if he/she has any, I've certainly never heard about it.

6. Are you one of those couples that work to maintain the passion in the relationship?
#Yes. It doesn't matter how long we've been together, he/she still turns me on because we both work hard to keep the magic alive.
#No.What passion? The only 'fire' in my life is the fiery glow of my diamond ring/ EPL matches!

7. Would you surprise your partner with a special gift for no particular reason just to keep the romance alive?
#Yes. I think it's important to always listen to my inner child because it adds excitement to our relationship.
#No. Romance? That died soon after we got married.

8. Does your partner appreciate the level of commitment you have displayed in your relationship?
#Yes. He/She is as committed as I am and even if he/she doesn't do as much as I to demonstrate that commitment, I'd still work hard at the relationship.
#No. He/She hardly notices me let alone knows how much I've put into the relationship.

9. Sex may not be the most important element in a relationship but it is definitely in the top three. Are you satisfied with your sex life?
#Yes.We're definitely above the Malaysian average of 3.5 times a week which the Pfizer Global Better Sex Survey revealed! This is because we have a rewarding and exciting sexual relationship.
#No. After a while I just go through the motions to ensure that my partner doesn't go looking for 'it' elsewhere.

10. Have you been intimate with your partner at least once in the last 2 weeks?
#Yes. In fact, being intimate just once in two weeks sounds ridiculous to us.
#No. What with the baby, work, chores etc, who has time to be intimate?

11. Would you consider your relationship an equal one? Is there a lot of give and take?
#Yes. We've learnt to respect each other through the years. It hasn't always been a picnic but we've learnt to compromise on things that we don't agree on.
#No. Well, I give and he/she takes!

12. When you have a crisis at work and have to do an allnighter, does your partner understand and try to lighten your load?
#Yes. He/She brings me dinner and tells me not to worry about the children.
#No. Are you kidding? He/She nags me and tells me to come home ASAP. You could say he/she adds to my stress level at critical times.

13. Do you see marriage as a partnership that both sides have to work on at all times?
#Yes.That's why we're always trying new things - in and out of bed - that will draw us closer together as a couple.
#No. Who's got the time to work on the relationship? After all, the ring's already on the finger so why bother?

14. When you are intimate with your husband/ wife, do you experience a sense of intimacy, a boost to your confidence as a couple and the strengthening of your relationship?
#Yes, intimacy is just not about pleasure (or in some cases, lack thereof), it is about consistently cementing your commitment to one another.
#Huh?What about procreation?


YOUR SCORE

10 or more 'Yes' answers: Congratulations. Your marriage is as solid as a rock. You have learnt to make it as a couple and have great respect and love for each other. In short, when they devised the term 'couple', you were exactly what they had in mind!

5 to 9 'Yes' answers: You don't have the perfect relationship, do you? Despite that, all is not lost because you have some strengths that you can build on. However, learn not to ignore the weaknesses because if you do, it may lead to the end of your relationship.

4 or less 'Yes' answers: The question for those in this category is 'Why are you still together?' If you still want the relationship to work despite your problems, it's time to work hard to improve it or seek professional help from a relationship expert. Good luck - you'll need it.

Contents

- The Marital Dilemma: 3 Years, Now What?

- What Do Women Really Want?

- What Do Men Really Want?

- Communicating: Is Anyone Actually Listening?

- Showing How Much You Love Them

- Our First Holiday Together - Coping With Each Other

- Spicing It Up

- He Used To Buy Me Flowers, She Used To Be Spontaneous

- The Relationship Quiz

- The 101's Of Marriage